Sick

Sometimes, there is a total absence of light.

Negative thoughts are coming as waves of increasing frequency, and I can't fight against them.

I'm making mistakes after mistakes.

I'm not attentive enough to love that some special people give to me. I'm neglecting my friends. I'm loosing myself in virtualities. I'm wounded because of false friendship. I'm stressed by material things. I let all my passions go away. I feel that my body and spirit are degenerating. I hate what I see in my mirror. I hate the man I became. Because life is a challenge, because I'm a coward.

I...I...I...

I'm just egocentric, focused on my own decadence. There is no magic I can feel in this world, or, maybe my eyes are not able to see it anymore. Just a living joke in a cold and mad world.

Maybe could I be useful for some human beings, but this dark thing is swallowing me slowly. Time was given to me but I wasted it. So many people gone, so many things I could have done, so many mistakes I could have fixed...

But I will go on, because of few persons. I must try, for them, at least for them.